| Just be honest and say sorry.It’ll make you happy in the end. |
| (Updated on September 28, 2007) |
No190928 |
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Hello, everyone, I’m Fuyo Haruna.
The north of Okayama Prefecture－my hometown－has taken on an autumnal air.
Cosmeas, now at their best, are in full bloom in my garden.The scorching
summer is over and cooler air has moved in. With it, we feel the changes
in the seasons?for which I’m grateful.
Last time I wrote, I explained how the consciousness that has build up in you makes up who you are. I wanted you to know just how important consciousness is and how, by just changing it, you can change into whatever kind of a person you want to be. I believe that happiness is the product of your consciousness?which means whatever circumstances you are in, you can be happy if you can feel so. In other words, whether you are happy or not, just depends on how you see and feel about things. Many of you might say that’s not the way you are. Why not? What makes it so hard to alter consciousness?
When I was young, nothing was more unbearable than my fear that my mother was going to die of tuberculosis; the suffering was so great that it dwarfed all the fears or anxieties I had in my later life. In my marriage, I had a lot of hardships, but I was able to stop myself focusing on negative feelings. I was terrified when our kimono textile shop was teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. For a long time I suffered from not having a baby that I craved for so much.
If seen objectively, however, all of these agonies simply emanated from my desires. Once I made up my mind to accept whatever happened as it came along, and to drive away those desires, I felt the sense of suffering just leave me.
There is always a solution for whatever problems you run into in your life, however hard they may look to you. Believe me, there is no problem that you cannot overcome when you change the way you see the problem.
Various experiences in your life might have already taught you that you just worried too much for nothing. You’ve been a fool for your pains, haven’t you? There must have been times when you found your worries gone, once you let go of your preoccupations.
What causes you to stick to your point? In most cases, you love yourself too much; your ego is in the way. Because everyone wants to protect him or herself?this can’t be helped: one makes excuses, argues with people, and hold grudges against people. Ironically, however, the very love you feel which pushes you to protect yourself, makes you suffer in the end.
Let’s suppose two people disagree. They will argue about which one is right.At heart, they both want to insist that they are right, although neither will say so.
I would say: “I’m sorry, I was wrong", rather than argue with the other person. This was easy for me.Even if someone got me wrong, I just tried to look into myself because it was I who made the person think that way.
I avoid conflicts even if people get me wrong.
I never argue with people.
When someone misunderstands, I wait until he/she understands me correctly.
I would rather forget or drive out my negative feelings than live with them.
I’ve been this way since I was young.
Instead of thinking ill of people, I’ve never failed to look into myself, and I've found such a way of life truly rewarding.
Your love for yourself, contrary to what you might expect, adds to your pain.
Just be honest and say sorry. It will make you happy in the end because, at the end of the day, you suffer more, not from what the person said, but from having negative feelings about the person or not being able to tolerate him or her.
As long as you hold grudges against someone, you are still at that level of suffering. Rise above it as soon as possible. It is crucial to place your consciousness in a world where such things never bother you.
Because this was how I felt about things, I think, I was able to prevent my consciousness from sinking.
So, I want to tell you not to lower yourself by letting your consciousness sink when facing problems you run into, no matter how tough they seem.
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